Fall(ing)

I’ve found a new love – riding the backroads of Bulter County, PA (35 miles north of Pittsburgh). Since April I’ve spent over 3 months here and logged at least 1500 miles over the hills, through the hollers, and along the cricks of Western Pennsylvania.

Challenging terrain. Achingly beautiful farms and forests.

My bones came from this soil. Flying and floating through the fields, farms and forests along these quiet rural roads is like discovering a symphony written just for me and being able to play all the instruments in the orchestra like a virtuoso.

I came from these rocks, woods, cricks, and sky. As fall fades into winter, the mother that bore me into this land lies in the county home fading towards death. I’m  blessed with the time to grow closer to her as she moves farther away from everything she’s known.

My daughter’s Waldorf education introduced me to the concept of head, heart and hands experience. Seeking those experiences has shaped and lead me through life like a dog following the scent of food or of a bitch in heat. Sitting with Mom as she discovers and expresses emotion in a raw and honest way for perhaps the first time tells me to keep trusting my nose. Finding words to tease out and talk a little about her fears and doubts about death keeps my nose tipped into the breeze. Alone at night in the house I grew up in, without a job, separated from my wife, and estranged from the community I made mine for 30 years, finds me questioning the simplicity of sniffing my way through life.

In the morning, I’ll wake up, smell the coffee, walk out on the back deck, greet the four directions, be thankful for my life, sit and imagine my next great adventure, and woop for joy!